In my ten month (unintentional) nomadic period, I traveled with just a suitcase.  The rest of my clothing was sitting in the warehouse of a specialty cleaning company, waiting to be picked up.  When I packed my suitcase last February, I had no idea I’d be living out of it for more than a few weeks.  I had mostly jeans and t-shits, a sweater, skincare, and a few books - that’s it.  Wearing the same exact thing four days of the week became so normal, and having choices while on such a crazy journey would have probably overwhelmed me.  My physical appearance/how I presented myself was something I simply did not have time to care about or pay attention to.  

Once we settled down in the cottage in Topanga, I was so excited to receive my clothing.  When it came, I was incredibly let down.  I sorted through everything only to realize I didn’t want most of it.  Typically this would be such a freeing moment, but we had just paid an exorbitant amount of money (money we can’t just throw around) on the cleaning fee.  I felt sick.  I could have used that money to pay off debt, acquire some new things I actually need, donate, etc.  What’s interesting is that I already did not own very much because I had been simplifying my life and ridding of things for a few years.  The more I get in touch with myself, the more I know exactly what I want - items that make me feel the most comfortable, authentic, and free in my skin.  Some items, like this vintage YSL blazer, absolutely serve that purpose.  Only the pieces I collected in the year prior to living out of a suitcase (with the exception of a leather jacket I've had for years), were pieces I decided to keep.  After sitting with the emotions, moving through them, and understanding that when I dropped my clothing off to be cleaned months prior, I couldn’t have anticipated the future, I was able to fully let go.  I couldn’t have known then, that in a short period, I would go through an experience that would detach me so deeply from my stuff.  

When I got the download for this website/venture, I wanted to explore that we can curate our lives with items that speak to who we are, in order to live with more intention and mindfulness.  That’s absolutely true, but what’s even more important is that our things have nothing to do with shaping who we are.  When we shed our attachment in order to see our objects as tools for connection, rather than as symbols of identity - the real work starts.  I will be re-opening sessions soon to aid you with this process, so stay tuned.  In the meantime, feel free to get in touch with any questions you may have.

On New Years Eve, I spontaneously wrote a caption on my instagram post - an honest and raw account of how I was feeling as I reflected on 2017.  I told myself I wouldn’t repeat it in a post on the journal, yet here I am, still reflecting and feeling compelled to expand.  To expand on that post, and to expand in my life.  In order to expand, I have to be in the truth.  In my truth.  I’m still reflecting, going within, and spending most of my time alone.  I’m sitting with what happened last year.  Not to relive it, or to cleanse it, but rather to allow myself and my body some time to move through it (my body has gone through a lot and is in need of major rest).  2017 was excruciating and exhausting (politically, personally, etc.).  It was a whirlwind.  No…it was a shit show. 

As I reflect, I see that I asked for it.  I asked for it in my commitment to my growth.  In my commitment to my truth and authenticity.  I asked for it in my vow.  In 2014, I made a vow instead of a resolution - vulnerability.  That year I learned to love myself in a deeper way than I ever knew I could.  I committed to being with myself.  To being more in my body.  And that presence required the allowance to love myself.  That year I met Jeff, who returned that love.  He also showed me that my vulnerability was beautiful because he accepted me in all of my messiness.  He accepted that I was flawed, and he supported my commitment to my self-work.  Every year I now make a new vow.  

The definition of resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something.”  Often, it’s giving something up - restricting, withholding - and it almost feels punishing.  The definition of vow is “a solemn promise.”  Some synonyms include:  commitment, affirmation, word of honor.  Every year I make a promise to myself by honoring that word of commitment.  The vow is an ongoing affirmation that never ends with the year’s closing, but begins with the year’s opening.  It’s not linear or limiting, but rather, fluid.  It’s soft and forgiving.  I make sure to create all of these vows with love, in order to grow and expand beyond my current understanding of self and of others.

My vow to myself for 2017 was to lean-in more.  Immediately after making that vow, life as I knew it blew up.  But I didn't blow up (even when I wanted to). I leaned in.  I listened.  When everything around me was chaotic, when I was crying and screaming and questioning everything, I never gave up on my truth.  I never compromised my own faith in myself and the universe.  As I lay in bed with a cold, reflecting, there's so much to continue to lean-in to.  And that is something I feel immense gratitude for.  That there will always be growth (if I commit to it).  Most obviously, I am grateful to have my own bed to rest in (after not having a bed for so long).  I am grateful for my body, despite having been through so much and so weathered down, she is still here, deeply yearning to heal.  And I am committed to healing with her.  To continue to say no to what doesn't feel right in my intuition in order to say yes to things I wouldn't expect to be in front of me.  To continue to shed - to strip ways of being I picked up that don't serve me, in order to become more and more of who I truly am.  This year, my vow is for unapologetic acceptance.  To not only allow myself to be unapologetically me, but to also accept her - whether in the stillness, the rapture, or the crash.

Regardless of the outdoor temperatures, winter is a season of warmth.  Of coziness.  Of self care.  Of going within.  It’s the time of year where I feel the most inclined to stay inside, rest, recuperate, reflect - in order to learn from the past and set intentions for moving forward.  Pictured above are some objects keeping me cozy, grounded, cared for, and a tad indulged.  Sometimes when staying in I get too antsy and restless if I completely let myself go.  So while I may be hanging in my underwear and rocking bedhead, I like to treat myself with yummy scents, soft fabrics, and fresh florals.  Living with intention doesn’t always have to hold deep meaning.  It can be incredibly simple, such as small acts of nourishment for healing or joy. 

This lovely Maison Louis Marie role-on was a holiday gift, and its scent is soothing and soft yet slightly invigorating.  It has been a comforting scent to wear at home, while still giving me that boost to commit to self work and self care.  

My new (but old - vintage) jacket has been truly keeping me warm and cozy.  It is incredibly soft and comfortable.  I got it from one of my favorite stores in LA - Passenger.

This brush has been keeping my dry skin at bay.  I use it before showering, and it’s a small but worthy act for my sensitive skin.  It’s an easy way to detoxify and turnover new skin cells.

These beauties really have nothing to do with grounding and staying cozy, but I’ve been delighted to see them in my home.  They are a lovely winter white, and I have them on hand for when I absolutely have to leave my little cottage to be apart of the world (I am truly embracing hibernating/going within).  Along with this sweet and simple ring.

You can find more of my favorite items here, and I'll be adding more soon.

No compromise.  None.   I don’t mean with others, but with myself.  With my desires.  My truths.  My being.  I will not compromise.  This is my vow to myself - that I will not take less than what I need, what I know I deserve.  I will not deny my body, my inner self of what she requires.  This is essential to her wellbeing, I’m finding.  

I have said yes in my life too many times because I thought I should, even though she knew not to.  Yes, I will show up to this party for my friend even though I feel like complete shit.  Yes, I will sleep with you because it will be fun, even though I wish you were someone else.  Yes, I will take this low work rate, even though I know I deserve more.  Because what if I let my friend down?  Because aren’t I supposed to be enjoying myself?  Because what if more money won’t be coming in?  This is not the voice I want to feed.  This voice is the conditioned one.  The one who feels shame for being an artist.  The one who is scared to draw outside of the lines too often.  The one who was told she could do anything she wanted within the confines of certain rules.  The one who felt misled because why couldn’t she do anything she wanted without limits?  

Boundlessness.  That is what I’m seeking now.  I used to think this meant saying yes to everything.  If I say yes to everything, I will be led to exactly where I’m supposed to be.  I have said yes in my life to things I knew I didn’t want.  I’ve also said no to things I knew I didn’t want.  I would always second guess myself when saying no.  What if I’m supposed to go to Canada to work on this movie set for this amazing actress, instead of spending time building my own career?  Why did I say no?  This is the torture I would put myself through, even though I said no to pursue my own passion.  So I spent an entire year intentionally saying yes to see what would show up for me.  To sort of “test” it out. 

In 2016 I was working on a great freelance styling gig for a great company making great money, until it wasn’t so great.  Until I realized there was a lot of sliminess going on behind the scenes.  Until the person working above me verbally accosted me, and my body responded by being in a constant state of anxiety and fear when I was in the studio.  When I watched the same thing happen to another employee, that was it.  I left.  I was listening to my body, and I could not show up any longer in such terrible, negative energy.  And then I went back.  Because I was asked to.  Because I was experimenting with saying yes.  Because I knew I needed to show up to see what would happen.  My anxiety did not dissipate.  It worsened.   Eventually, I was sort of “phased out.”  I was not meant to be there any longer.  The universe took care of the situation for me.   Many things like this happened in that year, and it was all confirmation that my intuition always knows.  She never fails me.  

Discernment.  This is what I learned so deeply through these experiences.  I have always had a very strong intuition and even what I would call a gift of discernment.  Yet, I still would question myself.   No more.  Because I want more.  No does not mean turning down opportunities or shutting myself off from the world.  It means no, I will not compromise my truths for anything or anyone - not even for my own fears and uncertainties.  Saying no does not always look pretty.  I said no to a moldy apartment that was making me sick, even though it meant couch surfing and being away from my man and our dog.  I said no to every potential new home that didn’t feel right, even though it meant being being without a home.  I said no to working for disrespectful clients, even though it meant also saying no to money.  And yet, I feel stronger in myself than ever before.  I trust that I will be taken care of, without compromise.  

No compromise can always be applied to objects of attainment.  Why purchase or obtain (even if it’s free) something unless it’s 100 percent in line with what you need, deserve, and love.  If you apply this concept not only to your moral compass, but also to your Object Philosophy, you will begin to weed out the objects that don’t serve you and bring in ones that do.  

Stripping down to the root of who you truly are will always help you to collect more mindfully, and more importantly, to connect more intentionally to your things, your rituals, and yourself.  If you need guidance with this, you can book a one-on-one session here.  Feel free to get in touch with any questions.