The blues.  I've had a case of them for a few weeks, and I've taken comfort in seeing these moody hues all around.  Regardless of blue being “in” right now, it’s encouraging to be propelled by a color, especially when the color visually represents how I’m feeling inside.  Yet this representation hasn't been enough to get me out of the funk.  My wonderful friend and Ayurvedic practitioner, Meredith, always has beautiful insight into how I’m feeling regarding my doshas (I’m tri-doshic) and the seasons.  My kapha is abnormally out of balance due to some outside health ailments, but we are also currently in kapha season.  I’ve been feeling all kinds of heavy, slow, sluggish, cloudy, and stuck.  Meredith recommended dancing for 20 minutes a day to get all of this stale energy moving.  The first time I implemented my new “treatment” (the following day), I broke into tears about three songs into my crazy-amazing-solo-dance-party.  Why?  I realized that I hadn’t been experiencing much joy in my life at all…for a while.  I was so struck by how much lighter I felt, that my body naturally was ready to release some of the mucky, stagnant energy.  

Here are some beautiful objects for you to embrace the blues, as well as a playlist to get you moving through them.  We can support times of sadness, depression, and staleness, while we simultaneously acknowledge that it’s okay to be blue, and it’s also okay to move through the blues.  Meredith specifically suggested that I listen to metal and rap, as these are the genres that counter kapha the most, but this playlist is a little more my style (and still helps me counter that kapha).  Whether you're rocking out to Parquet Courts or getting down to Marvin Gaye, there's something for everyone.  I hope you laugh at the Datarock song as much as I do :).  Enjoy!

A Personal Uniform launches garments twice a year with editions of 15-20 items.  All garments are crafted from high quality material and produced in-house in their Bankok studio.  Simple in practice yet incredibly inspiring and interesting in concept, their pieces are quite stunning and captivating while still being wearable.  I’m drooling over their entire collection, including this navy wrap-dress.

You may already know how much I love Rachel Saunders Ceramics from my previous post about her work.  This love only keeps getting stronger with each new piece she releases.  This periwinkle vase has been giving me all kinds of feels.  Shop her pieces here.  

I recently discovered Ajaie Alaie, and I’m in love with the motivation and inspiration behind their clothing.  Here’s a statement from their website:  "Ajaie Alaie is all about mindfulness and reminding women to be mindful with their daily thoughts and actions. Each garment has an amulet on the inside of the garment at a specific energy point (a chakra), represented by a design detail, a knot, twist, dart etc... We believe keeping these energy points balanced is instrumental for our well-being and success. Each garment is reminding us to feel proud of our accomplishments, to love unconditionally, feel secure, grounded, and feel safe...Ajaie Alaie’s woman is aware of her surroundings, of world issues and is in constant strive to be a better version of herself. Ajaie Alaie's woman is in constant motion, flow, and always looking to broaden her perspectives."  This is perhaps the most beautiful description for a clothing line I've ever read.  I am in awe of the attention to detail, thoughtfulness, and spirituality woven into their garments and philosophy.   They are also extremely sustainable, ethical, and conscious - I encourage you to read about their fabrics and process because all brands should strive for this much consideration for the environment.  You can browse these powder blue beauties and the rest of their pieces here.  

I was scrolling through By Far’s collection, deciding which pair I would get once I could pull the trigger, and I immediately felt self-betrayal coming on for my typical gravitation towards neutral colored shoes.  These stopped me in my tracks.  The color on this shape is stunning.  Please buy them so I can google over your feet.  Made out of premium Italian materials, all of their shoes are handmade in a family-owned factory in Bulgaria  They now make a third of their collection from dead-stock leather.  YES to sustainable fashion.  I own a pair of their boots, and they are incredible chic (of course), comfortable, and easily blend into my everyday style.

Paloma Wool is always coming out with items that feel fresh, interesting, and wearable.  This blue backpack is no different.  It will add the perfect pop of color to any outfit, and it’s small enough to easily carry around while still being roomy enough to fit everyday necessities.  This bag is 100% leather and made in Barcelona (the brand’s home).  

I have always loved wearing socks with heels.  A college roommate of mine once told me she just didn't "get" the look, but that didn't stop me from wearing them to preppy parties.  I'm seeing them a lot more (and not just with casual sneakers), and I am particularly loving the delicate style of these sheer Darner ones.  I have a pair in white, and they give any outfit flair (sexy flair in my opinion).  These blue mesh socks remind me of the sky - they're super dreamy.  Browse Darner's instagram here.

I'm a sucker for anything linen.  I wear it.  I sleep in it.  I would bathe in it if I could.  This 100% linen table cloth is made by IN BED, a conscious, Sydney based bedding (and extras) company.  Their linen is grown and harvested in France and then transferred to their family-run factory in Shenzhen China.  As an ethical brand, they also use natural, reusable, or recyclable fabrics to package their products in.  Browse the rest of their beautifully simple products here.

Cienne's instagram tagline is "Deliberately discerning (practically poetic)."  I feel like I can stop writing now, as this is such a beautiful description of their brand and also of how I like to dress and live.  Their collections are designed by Nicole Heim and Chelsea Healy and made in New York.  Their mission is based on three pillars - empowering people, producing responsibly, and elevating & preserving craftsmanship.  They source natural and sustainable fibers from global communities and employ craftspeople in developing countries.  This doesn't stop them from creating high-end, editorial worthy, and gorgeous clothing.  The texture of this blazer is incredible and the fit is impeccable.  Shop their current collection here.  

Don't forget to listen to and DANCE along with the playlist. 

John Baldessari, Of What Use (from Goya Series), 1997

Last week I wrote about the need for space, and as I was writing, I was brought to my final point - that the ultimate way to “get” space is to create it by surrendering.  To let go to allow room for the magic.  I’ve been reading Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart,” and as I read the chapter on maitri this week, I had many "aha" moments.  I love when the topics I’m exploring show up in many places - books, films, people’s words, etc.  It allows for the studying to become almost intoxicating.  

Maitri is Sanskrit for loving-kindness.  In our culture, sometimes loving-kindness is seen as this grand act of being overly sweet, yet in truth, there is a neutrality to maitri.  In this except from the book, Pema explores the concept of maitri through surrender:

“What makes maitri such a different approach is that we are not trying to solve a problem.  We are not striving to make pain go away or to become a better person.  In fact, we are giving up control altogether and letting concepts and ideas fall apart.

Here's more of her beautiful writing:

“The way to dissolve our resistance to life is to meet it face to face.  When we feel resentment because the room is too hot, we could meet the heat and feel its fieriness and its heaviness.  When we feel resentment because the room is too cold, we could meet the cold and feel its iciness and its bite.  When we want to complain about the rain, we would feel its wetness instead.  When we worry because the wind is shaking our windows, we could meet the wind and hear its sound.  Cutting our experiences for a cure is a gift we can give ourselves.  There is no cure for hot and cold.  They will go on forever.  After we have died, the ebb and flow will still continue.  Like the tides of the sea, like day and night — this is the nature of things.  Being able to appreciate, being able to look closely, being able to open our minds — this is the core of maitri.”

The core of maitri is also the core of this work.  When we see our objects as symbols - they become just that, symbols.  This creates disconnection - the exact opposite of what we are after.  When we are searching for answers in our things, we are in a sense starving ourselves.  Of freedom.  Of joy.  I write about this a lot.  There is no cure for our dissatisfaction.  The key is to meet whatever is there, and in this meeting, we leave room for the joy.  We cry tears of joy because the feelings of overwhelming sadness and overwhelming joy are so similar.  We can experience the joy by observing the pain.  There is beauty in this meeting.

There is also beauty in the meeting of object and human.  Without us, the tea mug is of what use?  Part of the work is acknowledging that our objects just are.  A mug is for drinking tea.  A vase is for holding flowers.  The purpose is straightforward.  But what’s our purpose?  We get to decide that.  We experience maitri by simply being.  By pausing.  By allowing our objects to serve us in order to practice mindfulness.  And in this presence, we create space.  And in this space, we can experience joy.  In order to do this, we must detach from the symbol, and instead, meet the neutrality.  

If you're interested in diving deeper with a session, contact me or book below.

I feel trapped.  Stifled.  Suffocated.  I need space.

This is a theme for me.  One that I have been consciously exploring in the last two years, and as of late, it feels like this need is only getting stronger and louder.  It’s pretty obvious that no one person (other than myself) or object can give me this space.  Perhaps a larger home would (I’m in 300 sq ft with another person and a dog).  Perhaps.  Yet this need for space has depth.  So much depth.  When I close my eyes I often see myself swimming with dolphins in the deep sea or walking in the open desert.  My subconscious is taking me to vast, expansive places.  Places that are unknown, elusive, and even otherworldly.

These visions help me to access the spaciousness within, while my physical world may not be as roomy at the moment.  I spent nearly a year of my life in fight-or-flight mode, and while I’m so thankful to be out of that state, my body is still holding onto some of the trauma (which I’m actively working on releasing), and the areas in which I’m seeking expansion in my life are remaining stagnant (or seemingly so).  For instance, we moved into the moldy place after identifying that we needed some more physical space than we had in our tiny Echo Park cottage - to have alone time, to create, to rest, etc.  We eventually ended up in an even tinier all-one-room cottage.  Thankfully, we now live in nature, amongst the trees.  But you can probably gauge why the feeling of suffocation comes up regarding this situation - I left the tiny Echo Park cottage for more space, learned and grew so much in that insanely difficult time, and then ended up in the “same” situation I was trying to expand from in the first place.  But I can create a bit of space simply by not attaching to that meaning.  By knowing internally that I’m not in the same place I was a year and a half ago.  That I’ve learned so much.  That it might not all be crystal clear, but I’m listening.  I’m tuning in.

It’s frustrating to do self work and to have incredible epiphanies and realizations and connections and to then watch your life stay stagnant.  But this is where I get deterred from being in the unknown (which is actually a place of spaciousness, like the ocean) - by trying to “figure it out.”  By trying to attach to some kind of understanding of the situation or the need.  Yet truly, the only thing that works is to let it breathe.  To allow it to be there without having to understand.  To trust that everything will be revealed in due course.  And if I’m not “getting something” it’s not because I’m not doing the work - because I am.  I cannot force myself to accelerate faster.  All I can do is show up for myself.  And in that showing up, I’m being asked to go into the depths of feeling stuck and suffocated to learn and extract more from it than I can currently fathom. 

Part of this process for me involved clearing out all most of my possessions.  This allowed me to open up the space to even hear this voice.  To heed to its calling.  Because so much of my attachment to the “what if’s” relating to those items was released as soon as I let them go.  And this letting go has allowed me to be where I am.  To stay in the simplicity of each moment.  To release my yearning and needing for things outside of myself.  To detach from old stories and ways of being.  The more physical space I cleared, the more metaphysical space became available for me to dive into.  This may not be the case for everyone.  This work is so individualistic (depending on the truth of your internal needs).  But whatever the need, the physical and metaphysical are connected.  When we are only exploring one realm, we are missing parts of the whole.  If we go straight to the metaphysical without looking at the concrete, we lose connection from the earthliness of grounding in reality.  If we only go into the physical, we lose the magic and the message of what’s trying to come through and help us to grow.  

I’ve been connecting these two worlds by utilizing my objects to create space for myself, through rituals.  Here are a couple of examples:

MORNING TONIC

I listen to soothing music, heat up water or mylk, and then gather my spices and adaptogens.  The process - of waiting for the kettle to steam, stirring everything together with the tiny wooden spoon, slowly sipping, and enjoying time with myself - is an intimate one.  It allows me to slow down and stay present at the start of my day.  You can read more of this here.

GETTING DRESSED

I ask my body what it needs.  Does my body need ease and movement (something open and free like a linen jumpsuit) or structure (something more containing like denim)?  This simple question opens me up to the truth of what my body needs, so that I can respond with receptiveness.  

These tiny acts create space, because being in touch with the truth and in tune with my needs always does.  When I go about life in autopilot - fight-or-flight, or going through the motions - where’s the room for me?  It’s really about peeling the layers in order to have more compassion, not more understanding or knowing.   To lay bare, to become more raw.  It is in this rawness that I have no choice but to surrender.  To let go.  To need nothing but the space between myself and a universe I may never understand.  

If you feel called to learn more and to dive into this work, explore booking a session.  Feel free to email me with any questions.

Spring came quickly this year.  Not early, but it seemed to come suddenly.  My eyes are itchy, which means things are in bloom.  I feel ready to be out in the world again -  to learn and to explore.  Here are some of my favorite items for this season with a playlist to go along.

Girlfriend Collective makes their leggings and activewear out of recycled water bottles.  The coolest part (other than saving the planet) is that their products are so soft and durable.  You can read more about their process and mission here, and browse through their goods here.

This pillow is by Brooklyn based company, Afternoonswim.  All products are ethically hand-crafted with natural fiber materials by the founder, Hanna.  Her pillows are beautiful, and she is set to launch rugs and artwork in the near future - I can't wait to see!  You can purchase the pillow shown above and browse other items on the site.

I am so in love with this bracelet by Alexa de la Cruz, as well as all of the pieces in her collection.  The jewelry is handcrafted in Mexico City by local artisans.  I have also had the pleasure of getting to know her through Instagram, and she is such a warm, kind, and lovely soul.  Shop her stunning, unique pieces here.  You will also love her personal Instagram, showcasing her impeccable taste, beautiful home, and journey with motherhood.

As you may already know, I love St. Agni, a Byron Bay based ethical and sustainable company.  I own these sandals, and I started wearing them as soon as temperatures rose in Los Angeles.  When not barefoot (I often am), I've been living in these - they are incredibly comfortable.  I love pairing them with both pants and dresses.  I also suggest browsing though their beautiful clothing.

The Bodysuit of Barcelona makes the most beautiful, simple bodysuits.  I have yet to own one, but I gush over their products every time they post on Instagram.  I love their photography and the way they capture the women wearing their clothing - they embrace the female form effortlessly.  You can browse their products here.

I have been wearing my 1930's bandana by Ozma of California nearly every day, so it felt necessary to include in this month's mused post.  They are 100% silk and hand-dyed and printed locally in Los Angeles.  All of Ozma of California's items are ethically made in Los Angeles - check out their beautiful clothing here.  

I recently posted about F. Miller Skincare, and I still can't get enough of these luscious products.  Here is a note from their website:  "F. MILLER is entirely free of synthetic fragrances and colourings, harmful preservatives, sulphates, parabens, pthalates, PEG's and SLS's.  All products are formulated from the finest raw, nutrient-rich ingredients which are consciously sourced and cruelty-free."  This body oil feels especially appropriate for spring, with sweet almond oil, neroli, bergamot, and grapefruit - it's as refreshing as it is soothing.  I'm currently in the desert and slathering this on after every shower to keep my skin moisturized and happy.

Listen here.