I've been making myself a daily tonic for a couple of years now, and I've become more and more connected with this ritual overtime.  It's such a simple way to nourish my health and spirit, and I love being able to customize the tonic each day.  I do this by choosing herbs, mushrooms, and adaptogens based on what my mind/body needs.  Lately I've been using a mix of reishi, chaga, eucommia bark, and ashwaghanda.  If I make the tonic late in the day or in the evening, I skip the chaga, as it can increase energy levels.  The recipe below is a staple that I modify from time-to-time.  Sometimes I'll add in vanilla or skip the ginger.  I encourage you to make it to your liking.  When traveling, I bring Four Sigmatic packets with me that just need hot water.  They're effective and delicious.  

I use the spoon pictured above as my measuring spoon for the powders, as well as the mixing spoon once I add liquid.  It's a multipurpose object that I've come to love.  It's soft and lightweight, yet smart and strong in its abilities.  While small objects like this may seem unimportant to us, they truly carry significance.  If I couldn't locate this spoon, I would manage just fine.  I'm not dependent on it.  But the significance lies in the intention.  The intention to pay attention to my body.  The intention to nurture myself.  The intention to sit in silence with just myself and a cup of warmth.   

TONIC RECIPE

• Combine cinnamon, tumeric, and a pinch or 2 of black pepper (*this activates the tumeric) in the bottom of your mug
• Add adaptogens/powders of choice (1/2 teaspoon each), mix all together
• Steam just shy of a cup of mylk (or water) and pour into cup -  just enough to cover the mixture.  Stir until smooth.
• Add a splash of freshly juiced ginger + sweetener of choice (I occasionally add honey but most of the time do not add anything to sweeten)
• Pour the rest of the mylk until mug is full, stir, and enjoy!

* For ginger:  I do not have a juicer, so I go to my local grocery store to get 4 ounces of ginger to bring home with me and pop in the refrigerator to last through the week.  In efforts to produce less waste, I bring these tiny canning jars with me to transport the ginger in.  They also make great spice jars + salt holders.

Other ingredients to try:  Cordyceps, He Shou Wu, Rhodiola, Astragalus,  Tocos, Vanilla, Cacao

Spring came quickly this year.  Not early, but it seemed to come suddenly.  My eyes are itchy, which means things are in bloom.  I feel ready to be out in the world again -  to learn and to explore.  Here are some of my favorite items for this season with a playlist to go along.

Girlfriend Collective makes their leggings and activewear out of recycled water bottles.  The coolest part (other than saving the planet) is that their products are so soft and durable.  You can read more about their process and mission here, and browse through their goods here.

This pillow is by Brooklyn based company, Afternoonswim.  All products are ethically hand-crafted with natural fiber materials by the founder, Hanna.  Her pillows are beautiful, and she is set to launch rugs and artwork in the near future - I can't wait to see!  You can purchase the pillow shown above and browse other items on the site.

I am so in love with this bracelet by Alexa de la Cruz, as well as all of the pieces in her collection.  The jewelry is handcrafted in Mexico City by local artisans.  I have also had the pleasure of getting to know her through Instagram, and she is such a warm, kind, and lovely soul.  Shop her stunning, unique pieces here.  You will also love her personal Instagram, showcasing her impeccable taste, beautiful home, and journey with motherhood.

As you may already know, I love St. Agni, a Byron Bay based ethical and sustainable company.  I own these sandals, and I started wearing them as soon as temperatures rose in Los Angeles.  When not barefoot (I often am), I've been living in these - they are incredibly comfortable.  I love pairing them with both pants and dresses.  I also suggest browsing though their beautiful clothing.

The Bodysuit of Barcelona makes the most beautiful, simple bodysuits.  I have yet to own one, but I gush over their products every time they post on Instagram.  I love their photography and the way they capture the women wearing their clothing - they embrace the female form effortlessly.  You can browse their products here.

I have been wearing my 1930's bandana by Ozma of California nearly every day, so it felt necessary to include in this month's mused post.  They are 100% silk and hand-dyed and printed locally in Los Angeles.  All of Ozma of California's items are ethically made in Los Angeles - check out their beautiful clothing here.  

I recently posted about F. Miller Skincare, and I still can't get enough of these luscious products.  Here is a note from their website:  "F. MILLER is entirely free of synthetic fragrances and colourings, harmful preservatives, sulphates, parabens, pthalates, PEG's and SLS's.  All products are formulated from the finest raw, nutrient-rich ingredients which are consciously sourced and cruelty-free."  This body oil feels especially appropriate for spring, with sweet almond oil, neroli, bergamot, and grapefruit - it's as refreshing as it is soothing.  I'm currently in the desert and slathering this on after every shower to keep my skin moisturized and happy.

Listen here.

Most of us understand that we look to others in order to get our needs met, and we can also understand that this is not healthy.  What we may not realize is that we look to our things to meet our needs as well.  On a surface level, our objects really can do this.  A tea kettle gives us hot water, a vase holds flowers, shoes protect the soles of our feet, an art book gives us inspiration.  Yet, we are the only ones who can truly meet our needs from within.  Learning this is is a process, which includes stripping our conditioning and false ideas of self; however, we can start this process by leaning into each moment.  What do I need right now? Grounding? Self care? Inspiration? To just be okay alone?  All of these answers can be met by simply taking a walk in nature and/or meditating.  So rather than looking to our things to fulfill our deeper needs (when misused this often looks like projecting a false sense of identity, power, or status onto objects), we can look to them to help us do the work.  We can transform “I want that because it’s pretty,” to “how can this serve me?”  Perhaps a vase will help you to create a ritual of foraging greenery once a week.  A tea kettle that you love will inspire you to make more tonics or simply to sit down once a day with a cup of tea on your porch.  An art book will inspire you to flip through its pages instead of Instagram photos.  A small ceramic plate will hold space for your palo santo, which will remind you to light the incense and take 15 minutes to meditate.  

Our objects are an extension of us not because they communicate who we are, but rather because they are the vessels in which we transmit connection.  As I’ve mentioned before, our objects are mirrors, reflections back at us.  Unlike humans, objects don’t have agendas or egos.  They don’t even have life or breath without us, so we can really see ourselves clearly in our relationships with them because they are incapable of projecting anything onto us - the reflections back are solely from our own projections.  These projections reveal what we need to shift within ourselves.  Our objects are simply there to serve us.  They can be used as gateways to discovery and learning - not only by aiding us in our rituals, but also by looking at the ways in which we project onto them from our ego space.  What if you only acquired objects to aid in your growth? What if you transformed your relationship with the objects you already have in order to serve a greater purpose?  Start with one object.  Ask it how it serves you.  If the answer that comes through is that it serves something coming from the ego, then ask how it can serve you from your heart space?  How can it aid you in order to meet a need from within? 

Photography by Angi Welsch & styling by me, for Jenni Kayne.

Last week I got an accidental haircut.  I went in for a complimentary touch-up (less than a trim) and came out with 4 inches of less hair.  I cried as soon as I stepped out of the salon door and continued in my car for the whole hour-long drive home, and for two more days after.  I felt ugly, but more specifically - I didn’t feel like myself.  When I looked in the mirror, I felt like a stranger in my own skin.  I’ve had so many different haircuts and styles over the last three and half years, so I was surprised by my reaction.  I had very long hair for most of my life and decided to chop it in 2014.  This initial cut was such a freeing experience, and has continued to be over the last few years.  I was once told that I would only look good with long hair, and I truly felt that was true... until I cut it.  I felt like I didn’t have to hide behind my long locks anymore.  I can feel pretty and sexy and confident with short hair?  Yes, and even more so than I had ever felt before.  Why? Perhaps because it was an external form of stripping (in this case shedding).  Shedding the physical hair, yet also the ideas and lies I had been fed and continued to feed myself.  “I’m not the kind of person who looks good like x.”  I’ve since experimented with many lengths ranging from my chin to my shoulder, and a few different styles of bangs.  So why was this recent haircut such a shock?  Beyond not setting out to do it on purpose and it being such a drastic change - conditioning.  In this case, I felt like I couldn’t have hair shorter than my chin because I have a strong jaw and long chin, and therefore the proportions of my face would be accentuated in an unflattering way. 

I have felt like that often throughout my life, and not just with my hair, but also with much deeper subjects.  This conditioning can be so insideous.  In the beginning of this year, I vowed for unapologetic self-acceptance.  I believe this haircut has been a small part of that journey.  After I let myself cry and complain and feel the emotions, I knew I had to face myself.  Why am I so hung up on how I look?  Why do specific hairstyles help me to feel like me?  This is a heavy topic.  What makes us who we are?  Our hair certainly has nothing to do with it.  How can I learn to feel “like myself” right now, without something that shapes my identity in the way I want to be seen?  I’m not going to wait for my hair to grow out again to be able to sigh and go, “okay now I feel better.”  Fuck that.  That is such a restricted, stifled way to live, and I’ve lived too much of my life that way already.  So I went within.  I listened.  What came up is that I still seek approval from my mom.  I don’t allow this to effect my actions (hence cutting my hair off and dying it red as a teenager and chopping it again a few years ago), yet I still want her to think I’m beautiful.  Because she put so much emphasis on beauty during my upbringing.  Because she was always more noticed and accepted for her beauty than I was.  This is all bullshit because it has nothing to do with the truth.  It simply stems from barriers I created as a result of the environment I was conditioned in.  Once this clear truth (the truth of the conditioning) came through, I was able to let it go.  I talked to her.  I told her she was beautiful and had something to offer the world.  I told her that my hair has nothing to do with her (something she already knows), that she is who she is regardless of appearances, circumstances and beyond.  She is infinite.  She is my essence.  In her highest self, she has no fear.  She is always in the truth, and she is courageous in her truth.  She is me.  I am her.  

I know this, yet I get caught up in my humanness (as humans do).  In my appearance, my identity.  So what’s all of that for?  Perhaps mirages for us to grow through and overcome.  Yet also, without our identities, we would all appear the same.  The beautiful thing about the external world is that we get to choose.  We get to choose how we present ourselves - with our clothing, hairstyles, spaces.  We have the freedom of self-expression.  What hairstyle (and outfits and home items) would you choose if you broke down some of the conditioning around identity?  If you detached from your identity and made choices from your truest form, without trying to prove anything to yourself or others?  In this case, I didn’t make the choice of how my hair would look, but I choose to embrace it - to see myself clearly regardless.  The importance does not lie in the choice itself, it lies in the intention behind it.  When we don’t have motives, or when the only motive we have is to feel connected to ourselves, we become free.

Photo by Jamie Arrigo