We all grab on for security.  It’s a very human thing to do.  If we look to our spaces and objects, we find that they make us feel secure.  But our physical world doesn’t actually provide us security.  Yes, physical things can keep us safe and comfortable - shelter, blankets, etc.  But even so, there is no guarantee that our roof won’t collapse or that we won’t feel cold. 

Attachment is an illusion.  When we let go of attachment - to our identity, to our stuff, to people, to how we feel things should be - we are simply letting go of a false sense of security.  What does that leave?  The truth.  And the truth here is that security is an illusion as well.  Everything is constantly in flux, and there is no guarantee that you will stay exactly where you are right now.  I can actually promise that you will never be exactly where you are right now again.  Even if your current home, relationship, or job does not change, your perspective will.  Tomorrow you may wake up in the same bed with the same sheets in your same body, but you will most likely feel differently than you did when you woke up today.  What roofs and blankets cannot do, is keep us safe and comfortable in our internal world.  Only we can do that.    

In our attempt to feel secure, we try to control our external environment.  But in this place, there is no room for the unknown, for freedom, for magic.  We are never actually in control, as we are powerless over other people, places, and situations.  So when we let go of the need for security, we let go of control.  And when we do this, we may at first feel uneasy or uncomfortable because we are pointing the focus inward.  We will continue to feel discomfort until we learn to be totally okay without security.  We feel liberated when we realize that security does not lie in anything we can touch or see.  It lies within. 

Where do you feel insecure?  Self conscious?  Uncertain?  Look there.  What objects give you the illusion of filling these voids or push you to grasp for concrete answers?  Tear your relationship down with those objects.  Let go of your attachments to them.  You don't have to get rid of them, but instead, form new relationships with them.  What can they provide you with when you realize they cannot keep you secure?  How can they serve you in navigating the deepest parts of your inner self?  If answering this feels heavy, start by activating your senses.  Whatever you’re working with - what does it feel like, smell like?  Run you hands over it, take note of the material, shape, and texture.  You’ll start to ground into your body, and the physicality will awaken connection with yourself, so that you can dive into the inner most depths with some genuine comfort.  

Photo by Lauren Moore of my previous home. 

Dive deeper into the work:

Alexa de la Cruz is a jewelry designer, a mother, and an awe-inspiring human.  When a photo of hers pops up on my feed, I am always lured in - to her captivating charm, her slow home life, and her journey with motherhood.  I feel like she could move mountains with her stunning beauty.  It radiates from within.  I had the pleasure of photographing the Escalón Signet Ring from her collection.  She chose a green jade for the stone, and it is such a peaceful, dreamy color.   Her jewelry is truly unique and made impeccably with acute attention to form.

Here is an excerpt from her website:  Each piece is handcrafted in Mexico City by the hands of great artisans. Inspired by organic forms and traditional Mexican silversmithing, creating sculptural, timeless pieces to be worn by the modern, sophisticated woman.

Shop her collection here. 

The blues.  I've had a case of them for a few weeks, and I've taken comfort in seeing these moody hues all around.  Regardless of blue being “in” right now, it’s encouraging to be propelled by a color, especially when the color visually represents how I’m feeling inside.  Yet this representation hasn't been enough to get me out of the funk.  My wonderful friend and Ayurvedic practitioner, Meredith, always has beautiful insight into how I’m feeling regarding my doshas (I’m tri-doshic) and the seasons.  My kapha is abnormally out of balance due to some outside health ailments, but we are also currently in kapha season.  I’ve been feeling all kinds of heavy, slow, sluggish, cloudy, and stuck.  Meredith recommended dancing for 20 minutes a day to get all of this stale energy moving.  The first time I implemented my new “treatment” (the following day), I broke into tears about three songs into my crazy-amazing-solo-dance-party.  Why?  I realized that I hadn’t been experiencing much joy in my life at all…for a while.  I was so struck by how much lighter I felt, that my body naturally was ready to release some of the mucky, stagnant energy.  

Here are some beautiful objects for you to embrace the blues, as well as a playlist to get you moving through them.  We can support times of sadness, depression, and staleness, while we simultaneously acknowledge that it’s okay to be blue, and it’s also okay to move through the blues.  Meredith specifically suggested that I listen to metal and rap, as these are the genres that counter kapha the most, but this playlist is a little more my style (and still helps me counter that kapha).  Whether you're rocking out to Parquet Courts or getting down to Marvin Gaye, there's something for everyone.  I hope you laugh at the Datarock song as much as I do :).  Enjoy!

A Personal Uniform launches garments twice a year with editions of 15-20 items.  All garments are crafted from high quality material and produced in-house in their Bankok studio.  Simple in practice yet incredibly inspiring and interesting in concept, their pieces are quite stunning and captivating while still being wearable.  I’m drooling over their entire collection, including this navy wrap-dress.

You may already know how much I love Rachel Saunders Ceramics from my previous post about her work.  This love only keeps getting stronger with each new piece she releases.  This periwinkle vase has been giving me all kinds of feels.  Shop her pieces here.  

I recently discovered Ajaie Alaie, and I’m in love with the motivation and inspiration behind their clothing.  Here’s a statement from their website:  "Ajaie Alaie is all about mindfulness and reminding women to be mindful with their daily thoughts and actions. Each garment has an amulet on the inside of the garment at a specific energy point (a chakra), represented by a design detail, a knot, twist, dart etc... We believe keeping these energy points balanced is instrumental for our well-being and success. Each garment is reminding us to feel proud of our accomplishments, to love unconditionally, feel secure, grounded, and feel safe...Ajaie Alaie’s woman is aware of her surroundings, of world issues and is in constant strive to be a better version of herself. Ajaie Alaie's woman is in constant motion, flow, and always looking to broaden her perspectives."  This is perhaps the most beautiful description for a clothing line I've ever read.  I am in awe of the attention to detail, thoughtfulness, and spirituality woven into their garments and philosophy.   They are also extremely sustainable, ethical, and conscious - I encourage you to read about their fabrics and process because all brands should strive for this much consideration for the environment.  You can browse these powder blue beauties and the rest of their pieces here.  

I was scrolling through By Far’s collection, deciding which pair I would get once I could pull the trigger, and I immediately felt self-betrayal coming on for my typical gravitation towards neutral colored shoes.  These stopped me in my tracks.  The color on this shape is stunning.  Please buy them so I can google over your feet.  Made out of premium Italian materials, all of their shoes are handmade in a family-owned factory in Bulgaria  They now make a third of their collection from dead-stock leather.  YES to sustainable fashion.  I own a pair of their boots, and they are incredible chic (of course), comfortable, and easily blend into my everyday style.

Paloma Wool is always coming out with items that feel fresh, interesting, and wearable.  This blue backpack is no different.  It will add the perfect pop of color to any outfit, and it’s small enough to easily carry around while still being roomy enough to fit everyday necessities.  This bag is 100% leather and made in Barcelona (the brand’s home).  

I have always loved wearing socks with heels.  A college roommate of mine once told me she just didn't "get" the look, but that didn't stop me from wearing them to preppy parties.  I'm seeing them a lot more (and not just with casual sneakers), and I am particularly loving the delicate style of these sheer Darner ones.  I have a pair in white, and they give any outfit flair (sexy flair in my opinion).  These blue mesh socks remind me of the sky - they're super dreamy.  Browse Darner's instagram here.

I'm a sucker for anything linen.  I wear it.  I sleep in it.  I would bathe in it if I could.  This 100% linen table cloth is made by IN BED, a conscious, Sydney based bedding (and extras) company.  Their linen is grown and harvested in France and then transferred to their family-run factory in Shenzhen China.  As an ethical brand, they also use natural, reusable, or recyclable fabrics to package their products in.  Browse the rest of their beautifully simple products here.

Cienne's instagram tagline is "Deliberately discerning (practically poetic)."  I feel like I can stop writing now, as this is such a beautiful description of their brand and also of how I like to dress and live.  Their collections are designed by Nicole Heim and Chelsea Healy and made in New York.  Their mission is based on three pillars - empowering people, producing responsibly, and elevating & preserving craftsmanship.  They source natural and sustainable fibers from global communities and employ craftspeople in developing countries.  This doesn't stop them from creating high-end, editorial worthy, and gorgeous clothing.  The texture of this blazer is incredible and the fit is impeccable.  Shop their current collection here.  

Don't forget to listen to and DANCE along with the playlist. 

John Baldessari, Of What Use (from Goya Series), 1997

Last week I wrote about the need for space, and as I was writing, I was brought to my final point - that the ultimate way to “get” space is to create it by surrendering.  To let go to allow room for the magic.  I’ve been reading Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart,” and as I read the chapter on maitri this week, I had many "aha" moments.  I love when the topics I’m exploring show up in many places - books, films, people’s words, etc.  It allows for the studying to become almost intoxicating.  

Maitri is Sanskrit for loving-kindness.  In our culture, sometimes loving-kindness is seen as this grand act of being overly sweet, yet in truth, there is a neutrality to maitri.  In this except from the book, Pema explores the concept of maitri through surrender:

“What makes maitri such a different approach is that we are not trying to solve a problem.  We are not striving to make pain go away or to become a better person.  In fact, we are giving up control altogether and letting concepts and ideas fall apart.

Here's more of her beautiful writing:

“The way to dissolve our resistance to life is to meet it face to face.  When we feel resentment because the room is too hot, we could meet the heat and feel its fieriness and its heaviness.  When we feel resentment because the room is too cold, we could meet the cold and feel its iciness and its bite.  When we want to complain about the rain, we would feel its wetness instead.  When we worry because the wind is shaking our windows, we could meet the wind and hear its sound.  Cutting our experiences for a cure is a gift we can give ourselves.  There is no cure for hot and cold.  They will go on forever.  After we have died, the ebb and flow will still continue.  Like the tides of the sea, like day and night — this is the nature of things.  Being able to appreciate, being able to look closely, being able to open our minds — this is the core of maitri.”

The core of maitri is also the core of this work.  When we see our objects as symbols - they become just that, symbols.  This creates disconnection - the exact opposite of what we are after.  When we are searching for answers in our things, we are in a sense starving ourselves.  Of freedom.  Of joy.  I write about this a lot.  There is no cure for our dissatisfaction.  The key is to meet whatever is there, and in this meeting, we leave room for the joy.  We cry tears of joy because the feelings of overwhelming sadness and overwhelming joy are so similar.  We can experience the joy by observing the pain.  There is beauty in this meeting.

There is also beauty in the meeting of object and human.  Without us, the tea mug is of what use?  Part of the work is acknowledging that our objects just are.  A mug is for drinking tea.  A vase is for holding flowers.  The purpose is straightforward.  But what’s our purpose?  We get to decide that.  We experience maitri by simply being.  By pausing.  By allowing our objects to serve us in order to practice mindfulness.  And in this presence, we create space.  And in this space, we can experience joy.  In order to do this, we must detach from the symbol, and instead, meet the neutrality.  

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