Posts tagged grounding
Objects & Attachment: Embracing the Ephemeral
Paige Geffen_New Mexico Home_Krista Peters
Paige Geffen_New Mexico Home_Krista Peters

We don’t need to own things in order to connect with them.  I am living in someone else’s home.  I have a private room with some of my personal belongings, but everything else is not mine - from the plates and mugs I eat and drink from to the old dresser I pulled out of the closet to put in my room that I deeply cherish - it’s all temporary.  I can accept the ephemeral nature and see that these objects are serving me now, for an indefinite amount of time, knowing that they will leave my life at some point.  This is a beautiful way to practice non-attachment.

Objects - whether ours, borrowed, etc. - can help us to sit with ourselves, to pause, and to pay attention.  An object can be sacred without ownership.   A ritual can be sacred without permanence of practice.  While I work with my clients on setting up rituals based on their needs, as we grow and change, our needs also change.  We may have to work on other areas and introduce new ways of doing things and/or modify previous practices.  Therefore, the most significant way to do this work is to check-in with yourself in regards to where you are night now, in this moment.  

The last thing I want is for people to feel that they need to go out and acquire new things to practice this work.  You can do this work sitting on the sidewalk with piece of gravel or walking in nature with a stone from the dirt.  The more we recognize that we don’t ‘have’ anything, and the more we see that our deep, personal truth is what guides us, the less we will rely on our stuff and instead shift the focus to rely on our inner selves.  We practice with the physical in order to access the metaphysical.  If you can learn to allow your cup of tea to help you to pause, to breathe, and to ground into your body, you can learn to do this anywhere with anything (or even absent of that ‘thing’).  When you stop to notice the sensation you feel when sliding your favorite ring on your finger or your comfy winter socks on your feet, you connect to the innate wisdom of your body.  The ring and the socks won’t give you power or self assurance, but the action of connecting to yourself will. 

I realize that we typically don’t purchase rings and socks to practice self-connection. I am all for surrounding yourself with beautiful items.  Beauty is a driving force in my life.  Walking in nature and seeing the sun set over the mountains is a prime example of observing and experiencing beauty.  Putting on an outfit that makes me feel amazing in my skin is also an example of this. Here is a quote I’ve previously written on my perspective of beauty: “To me, beauty without intention really isn’t beautiful.  It feels empty.  We can emphasize the marriage of beauty and intention by realizing that they are the same.  That beauty comes from mindfulness, from nature, from slowing down, from our hearts.  Beauty looks like truth.”

Yes, it’s obvious that we can find beauty in nature and in our beloved objects, but can we also find beauty in disorder?  Not so long ago, my life was a complete fucking mess.  I was living in tremendous chaos everyday.  Everything I was experiencing, no matter how messy and no matter how much I hated it, was bringing me closer to my truth.  I was being cracked open to look at all of my shadowy parts in order to embrace them.  This work saved me.  I learned to ground in the midst of groundlessness.  I was able to find beauty in small moments and in overlooked objects. Most importantly, I was able to find the beauty within myself. To accept myself, flaws and all. This is an ongoing process that I am always working on. I am not a perfect ball of sunshine devoid of insecurities. However, I am committed to continue to tear down conditioning in order to connect to the roots of who I am. You, too, can do this.

Woman x Self Practice
Paige Geffen_Self Practice
Paige Geffen_Self Practice
Paige Geffen_Self Practice
 

I’m honored to be featured on one of my favorite websites, Self Practice. If you don’t already frequent the site or follow along on Instagram - get on it. The founder, Lauren Trend, is a dear friend, and she is truly a wonderful human being. I am always inspired by her content, but mostly by her commitment to her own practice, in order to inspire others to create their own practices. There are so many beautiful intersections with the work of Object & Us. Interview below, and you can view it here.

Name: Paige Geffen

Occupation/Business/Creative Outlet: Interior Designer, Art Director, and Founder of Object & Us 

Starsign: Leo (sun), Libra (rising), Gemini (moon)

Favourite Number: 21 

First thing you did this morning? I made myself a hot reishi drink and went outside to view the beautiful landscape here.

What does 'wellness' mean to you?
I see wellness as a holistic practice, yet there is no perfection.  We don't graduate, so I believe we are constantly working towards wellness. 'Wellness' has become a trendy commodity, but it's something that cannot be bought. No matter the amount of herbs and healthy foods you buy, wellness comes from within. To me, wellness is about taking care of myself despite how messy life may be, despite how many supplements or items I don't have access to. Lately it's been about grounding in the midst of groundlessness

Products found in your shower/by your bath? Every product by F. Miller skincare, Lesse Official face serum (need more!), Dr. Bronner's lavender soap

Three things that can always be found in your kitchen cupboard? Nettle & Oatstraw for infusions, Cinnamon, Himalayan Pink Salt.

Favourite kitchen utensil? This spoon from Wild Poppy Goods - I use it to scoop herbs, adaptogens, to grab the last bits of ghee from the bottom of the jar

Favourite Travel destination? I spent a month in Copenhagen 8 years ago, and I have been itching to go back.  I honestly haven't traveled much for leisure in a long time, but I just moved to the countryside outside of Santa Fe, NM, and it's breathtaking here.  I'm on an unknown, indefinite adventure.  I highly recommend moving to a place you've never been before - it's exhilarating.  

Currently reading? When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron, and An Object of Beauty by Steve Martin

Currently browsing (.com)? Locations for an upcoming shoot, and googling images of Timothee Chalamet ;)

Favourite breakfast food? Vegan/Paleo biscuit-like bread (I substitute flax meal for eggs in this easy-to-make box) or buckwheat with cinnamon & ghee, and breakfast sausages - in the spring/summer I make my go-to smoothie (avocado, blueberries, chard, almond butter, coconut butter, cinnamon, water).


Three items in your make up bag?  14ecosmetics foundation, a brow brush, some form of liquid/cream blush (still searching for the right brand).

An album/mix that calms your nervous system? Joni Mitchell's Blue.  I have her lyrics tattooed on my forearm, and my dog is named after her.  I am starting to tear up writing this. She is such a vision of freedom and independence, and I believe her voice can move mountains and bloom flowers simultaneously.  Also, Moon Safari by Air, anything Cat Power, anything Jon Brion.  I could go on and on... 

An album/mix that hypes you up? Swim by Caribou, It's Album Time by Todd Terje, anything Arthur Russell, Sebastien Tellier.  Again, I could go on and on...

Most commonly used apps on your phone?
Instagram, Spotify

Favourite form of movement/exercise?
Hiking, walking, and dancing - I like to keep it simple.

One thing you'd like to incorporate into your day/week that you're currently yet to?  Yoga - I used to practice and stopped when I was advised by doctors to limit my exercise due to health issues.  I feel ready to start again.  

Nighttime rituals?  I live by my rituals, and the work of Object & Us is rooted in rituals.  I wash my face and put on a face oil, listen to theta waves and/or a calming playlist, write a gratitude list.  

I feel most creatively fulfilled when... I'm cooking a meal for myself, I'm taking photographs (usually of still life's), I'm writing for Object & Us, or lying naked and thinking of/doing nothing and simply feeling connected to my body.

I'm currently working on... owning my darkness and embracing all of the parts of myself I was taught to be shameful of. I'm working on being whole in my magnificence, which means honoring the grit. I'm opinionated, I'm sharp, I'm fierce, I rage.  Someone recently told me that rage is apart of love and that I am so full of love and so full of rage. This duality is what drives me to do anything creative. This is also the duality of sexuality. I'm also working on embracing my desire - for lust, for love, for life. I don't mean chasing it, but meeting it.  

This time last year, I wish I knew... that ultimate surrender and giving up my ideas of what I felt I wanted would lead me to the most unexpected, terrifying, and beautiful places

I'm grateful for... my inner voice, the warmth of the sun on my face, my best friend and soulmate Joni (my pup), Lauren Trend (seriously). 

Stripped: Leaving Room for Messiness
Paige Geffen_object and us

I was speaking with a dear friend recently about messiness in life.  I’m using the word messiness here to refer to events that happen that feel alarming, jarring, and maybe even terrifying.  The things that shake us up.   Perhaps you’ve experienced a recurring issue, theme, or symbol in your life, in which you’ve felt fed up with, tired of, angry about - as though you can’t take it any longer.  I’m trying to unsubscribe from the belief that when this happens, it’s because I’m not “getting” something or shifting something.  Yes, I believe that the messiness happens to crack us open.  That it can ultimately be a blessing because it leads us to deeper learning.  But despite all of my best efforts, I cannot control or advance that learning.  People have said things to me like: “you’re attracting this from your mind, and you have to do the work to shift it.”  I think that’s bullshit.  What I do believe is that there are events we go through in order to help our souls to grow.  What I’ve been learning (and what I also struggle with) is that in my eagerness to learn and to grow, no matter what I do, I cannot speed up the process in order to rid my life of the messiness.  I’m learning that if something becomes recurring, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m not doing the work fast enough or deep enough.  During our conversation, my friend told me to accept that life is not on my timeline.  She's right.  It just is.  It doesn’t have to feel great or even okay.  It just is.  What’s happening is what’s happening, and no matter how many meditations we do or journal entries we write or deep issues into our childhood we crack open - we cannot govern what’s happening.  What occurs on the material plane is not a reflection of our insides.  

Perhaps sometimes we have to learn something over and over and over again.  And maybe it’s not because we haven’t learned from it the first time around.  Maybe it’s because we are being asked to learn more, to go deeper.  I am not interested in surface work.  I want to go to the depths.  The work of Object & Us is not about curating a perfect room or a perfect home or a perfect life.  It’s about grounding, even in the midst of groundlessness.  It’s about coming home to ourselves, so that our external world has no bearing on who we feel we are.  

I don’t care how ugly you feel your house is, or if you even have a house.  I didn’t have one for nearly a year, and I still don’t have a “permanent" space.  When I was frustrated about this and told my friend that I wanted to finally sign a year lease and ground in one place, she told me that I can do that in my sleep.  That what I’m going through is not because I’m not doing self work, it’s because I am.  That I can help people with my sessions and workshops and writing more deeply because I’m getting schooled on this shit.

This work is not going to help you to make your life prettier or more appealing.  It’s going to help you to ground despite how ugly it may be.  A really nice side effect of doing the work will be that you learn to better understand your own likes and preferences so that you can create a space you love.  And this is helpful not because of how attractive the space may be, but because the space will help you to operate in a more intentional way.  It will support your journey to living with mindfulness.  So I encourage you to leave room for messiness in your home.  Not so that you neglect your space or become careless, but so that you can leave room for messiness in your life.  Controlling your environment to the extent that there’s no room for fluidity will only keep you from your own freedom.  There’s room for you to be you - in all of your majesty and in all of your messiness.  I promise.

Below are some easy, simple rituals that will help you ground in the midst of groundlessness no matter who you are or where you are:

MORNING DRINK

Whether you’re filling your cup/mug with lemon water, tea, or coffee, study the cup/mug while you’re filling it with your drink of choice.  Connect with it - notice the texture and take note of how you feel in your body while doing this.  When you sit to have your drink, do a stream of consciousness journal entry. 

AFTERNOON EARTHING

Take off your shoes and plant your feet on the earth.  Connect with your breath and breathe in the earth energy through your feet up into your body.  You can also do this throughout the day - even if you are indoors and cannot take your shoes off - at your desk, work table, or in your car.

NIGHTLY SHUT OFF

Turn your phone on airplane mode an hour before you'd like to go to bed.  That way, in the morning you can keep your phone on airplane mode until after your morning ritual is completed.  Lay on your bed at night and feel the sheets/comforter.  Run your hands over the fabric.  Allow the fabric touching your skin to awaken the senses in your body.  You can then rest, close your eyes, and take some time to just be.  It doesn't have to be a formal "meditation," but rather literally a place to rest your head.  You can take mental stock of what you're grateful for, or write it down.  Whatever feels the most natural.  If you don’t have a bed, you can practice this wherever you are sleeping.